Saturday, April 21, 2012
Could this be more?
Exactly a week ago I was feeling SUPER down and none of my "friends" cared. This was at my church and I don't know that many people there, but I know all of the kids my age, just not that well. But that one day I really felt like running away, thankfully this boy named Peter tried to cheer me up, (and his friend, but his friend didn't really care) he followed me to make sure when he left I was happy, and he hugged me and asked me if I was okay. I said sorta, but I felt better because no guy just HUGS you if he doesn't like you unless they have rabies because when you have rabies your really friendly... Well at least guys don't do that to me! And then we sat next to each other for the rest of the day and today I didn't even get to talk to him! But I texted him and he seemed kinda sad that we didn't talk. I really don't know at this point and I'm not gonna be all like OMG I THINK HE LIKES ME! BETTER TELL EVERYONE I KNOW! I NEED TO START PLANNING THE WEDDING! but I am interested... ;)
Friday, April 20, 2012
Betrayal. Such a hard state to be in.
I hate my life. Honestly nothing has been getting better. I only feel comfortable here (on blogger) I can't even tell my "friends" how I feel, because NO ONE LISTENS TO ME. I'll explain:
So I've had this friend named Sandra. We've been friends forever since I was 6, until a couple months ago. We were legit, the BEST of friends. And we kept that relationship until Isaiah came along. We maintained the relationship but I felt like I had to work harder to, and I was sacrificing the things that I wanted to do the most. Years went by and I just felt like a third wheel, like the last wheel of your training wheels and it just makes you feel wobbly. And recently a girl named Tanisha became a VERY useful third wheel, like the good kind. (this is a tricycle were talking about) I go to school with Isaiah (and church) and I see Tanisha and Sandra at church, but I don't want to go anymore because they make my life miserable. Especially Sandra, she makes me feel so bad and ugly and just plain old UNWANTED. Sandra is beautiful. She makes any girl around her jealous. She is 5'5, long brown hair, hazel eyes, tan, size c bra, and super flirty/charming. Now that I think about it, I think people only talked to me because they knew I was her friend, they only knew my name because she yelled my name in the hallways, I became a part of her, and when I let go, no one recognized. I disappeared just as well as I blended in. And now I want to become someone else. ME.
So I've had this friend named Sandra. We've been friends forever since I was 6, until a couple months ago. We were legit, the BEST of friends. And we kept that relationship until Isaiah came along. We maintained the relationship but I felt like I had to work harder to, and I was sacrificing the things that I wanted to do the most. Years went by and I just felt like a third wheel, like the last wheel of your training wheels and it just makes you feel wobbly. And recently a girl named Tanisha became a VERY useful third wheel, like the good kind. (this is a tricycle were talking about) I go to school with Isaiah (and church) and I see Tanisha and Sandra at church, but I don't want to go anymore because they make my life miserable. Especially Sandra, she makes me feel so bad and ugly and just plain old UNWANTED. Sandra is beautiful. She makes any girl around her jealous. She is 5'5, long brown hair, hazel eyes, tan, size c bra, and super flirty/charming. Now that I think about it, I think people only talked to me because they knew I was her friend, they only knew my name because she yelled my name in the hallways, I became a part of her, and when I let go, no one recognized. I disappeared just as well as I blended in. And now I want to become someone else. ME.
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